I Only Wish I Could Do More
Written by Nick Maddix on 2-11-2004 @ 5:50 A.M.

***

My thoughts are scattered like dandelions in the field
My heart confused on what it should or should not feel
Trying to hold back all the remorse that I have buried deep
Broken like a precious vase, its contents only to seep

My devious pain derived from that of another
The mystifying workings within I have only just begun to uncover
 Trickling a course throughout my inner sanctum
Holding back a curse from my own life of tedium

I feel as though I’m being held behind unbreakable bars
Each attempt at breaking through results in agonizing scars
My fingertips reach out into the silence of open air
Void of any presence of you having been there

Am I cursed only to watch behind tear-strained eyes?
Am I forced to endue the treachery of crimson lies?
Am I expected to touch the bitterness of shriveled skin?
What am I truly suppose to feel buried deep within?

This lack of control that eludes my restless grasp
Sometimes I wonder how long it is destined to last
If the cogs of fate are preset, don’t wake me from this nightmare
I’d rather sleep a thousand years than face the burden I once fared

What does one do when they are faced with limitations such as this?
Must they weep with sorrow until their passing days?
Succumb to pain in the most insensitive ways?
Or try to find a way to progress and forget, memories that are amiss

My feelings on this matter stray far and wide into chaotic waters
My pain may continue to flow like the stream memoir
Yet, deep down I hope my actions at least proved to be valiant enough
For even a little of my time means the world to some
Enough so that they may find comfort and move on with their own life
It is enough, I pray, I hope, it is enough.