A Lunar Christmas Carol
by Escachick357
Rating: T

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Disclaimer: I don’t own LUNAR, One Piece,or my best friend, Raya2…everything else is mine.

I’m back to posting this play. It used to be on , but the site deleted it and banned me for a week, so I fixed it up a bit and made it more humorous. I know how the LUNAR game ended, but I don’t care. None of the things at the end happened in this play. In the actual story of A Christmas Carol, there is no grandma or grandpa, I made them up. Hope ya like the play. Oh, and the parenthesis ( and ) are for actions that the characters do as they talk and also stand for how they speak.

Scene-Blank stage-

-Phacia walks onto the stage-

Phacia: Good day to you all. I am Phacia and welcome to tonight’s presentation of A Christmas Carol starring the characters from LUNAR. If the dubbers of Escaflowne, Inu-yasha, Rurouni Kenshin, and One Piece are watching this now, Escachick357 and Raya2 say “Burn in Hell, you bastards!” Now on with the play.

Scene-Ghaleon’s work-

Phacia: Ghaleon was a horrible but very rich man. He had a cruel heart, and even owned a factory, making him a trillionaire. One day, he was watching over his two workers when his nephew gave him a Christmas wreath.

Tempest: Merry Christmas, Uncle!

Ghaleon: Bah Humbug!

Tempest: Tonight Fresca and I are having a Christmas party and I was hoping that you’d attend.

Ghaleon: No. I don’t go to stupid, pointless parties.

Tempest: Please Uncle.

Ghaleon: I’ll think about it.

Tempest: Thank you, Uncle.

-Tempest leaves-

-the doorbell rings-

Ghaleon: (answers it): What do you want?

Mel: Ghaleon, we’re collecting money for a new orphanage.

Laike: How much will you be giving?

Ghaleon: Hmmm…nothing.

Mel: Nothing?

Ghaleon: That’s right! Now get the f-ck away from here! (slams the door shut)

Laike: (yells): Merry Christmas, ya cheap bastard!

-they leave-

Alex: Ummm…Boss?

Ghaleon: What?!?

Alex: May I leave early today because of the holiday?

Ghaleon: No.

Alex: Please?

Ghaleon: Fine. You’re fired!

Alex: What?

Ghaleon: You heard me! You’re fired!

Alex: But sir! I have a wife and 3 kids to support.

Ghaleon: Too damn bad. Now get the hell out of here!

-Alex leaves-

Ghaleon: Poor piece of shit! Once all the poor people leave, jobs will be easier to get.

Phacia: So poor Alex left for home. When the factory closed, Ghaleon began to walk back to his house. Later, at about 7:00, Ghaleon was in his living room watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas when he got a visit from his dead friend.

Kyle: Hey! What’s up, dude?

Ghaleon: Kyle? Is that you?

Kyle: Yeah.

Ghaleon: What are you doing here?

Kyle: In life I was your partner and together we ran tons of poor bastards out of town. Then I died and now I’m some dead dude holding chains.

Ghaleon: Don’t they hurt?

Kyle: No, not really. After a few years of being dead, you barely notice the weight. Oh, and tonight you’ll be visited by 3 ghosts to help fix your greedy ways so you won’t have to be in the same position as me. And now I gotta go, the bar is only open for 10 more minutes.

Ghaleon: How can you drink? You’re a ghost.

Kyle: Eh, Budweiser made a special beer for ghosts. Once you drink it, you’d think you’re still alive. They call it “Spirit Beer”. See ya!

-Kyle goes away-

Phacia: After How the Grinch Stole Christmas was over, Ghaleon decided to go to bed.

Scene-Ghaleon’s room, 9:00pm-

-clock rings-

Phacia: At 9:00, Ghaleon woke up to the sound of an angelic voice…

Nall(from backstage): No! I’m not going out there dressed like this! You can’t make me!

Escachick357: Get out here Nall!

Nall: No!

Raya2: Uhhh…Nall, you really should listen to her.

Escachick357: Yeah, you know how evil I can get. So get out here! NOW!!!

Nall(in small, scared voice): Okay. (comes on stage wearing a golden halo and a white robe and a pissed off look): Why do I have to wear this? This is embarrassing!

Raya2: But you look so cute.

Nall: It’s so embarrassing!

Escachick357: Hey, if you want, I can make you look like Mr. 2 from One Piece.

Nall: No, that’s okay. I changed my mind. I love this costume.

Escachick357: Good. That’s what I thought.

Ghaleon (wakes up): What the hell? Oh God, now I’m seeing angel-baby dragons! Why are you here, or better yet, who the hell are you?

Nall: I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. I’m here to show you what life would be like if you were never born.

Escachick357: Nall, this isn’t It’s a Wonderful Life.

Nall: Oh. Then we’re going into your past to see how you became a cruel man.

Ghaleon: What if I refuse to go?

Nall(changes into a white dragon): Don’t worry. You won’t.

Ghaleon: Okay, I accept.

Nall(shrinks down to his normal size): That’s what I thought. Now let’s go.

Phacia: Nall went into the past of Ghaleon where there was a party and Ghaleon and Xenobia were dancing.

Nall: Oops. Too far back.

Phacia: Nall took Ghaleon to the right time in the past where Xenobia left him.

Scene-Past. Ghaleon’s factory. Ghaleon is counting his money when an upset Xenobia runs in-

Xenobia: Ghaleon! You were supposed to take me to the theatre 2 hours ago! The newest One Piece movie was playing for one night only and we missed it!

A/N: One Piece kicks ass!

Ghaleon(not looking up): Quiet, woman. I’m busy counting my money!

Xenobia: You’ve been like this for 5 months already. Now you have to choose: the money or me!

Ghaleon(laughing): Money. It can support me for the rest of my life and I don’t have to take it to the theatre to see some damn pirate anime movie.

Escachick357: Hey! Don’t diss the pirates!

Ghaleon: Yeah yeah. Sorry.

-Xenobia runs out crying-

Nall (talking to Present Ghaleon): See? You lost your love because of your greed.

Ghaleon: Whatever.

Phacia: Nall took Ghaleon back to his house in the present.

Scene-Present. Ghaleon’s room-

Nall (sighs): Maybe the next spirit will have better luck( mumbles)…Bastard.

Ghaleon: I heard that!

-Nall leaves-

Phacia: After Nall left, Ghaleon went to sleep, unaware that the next spirit was coming…

Scene-same place, 10:00. Clock rings-

Ghaleon (wakes up to the sound of munching and crunching): Wha?

-Ghaleon walks into the kitchen and sees Ramus eating tons of food-

Ghaleon: Who are you?

Ramus (swallows food): I’m the Ghost of Christmas Present!

Ghaleon: So I get presents?

Ramus: No, I’m the Ghost of Christmas Present. I’m going to show you how life is now because of your greed. But be warned- Nobody can see or hear you.

Ghaleon: So if I shit in the street, no one will see me do it?

Ramus: No, but don’t do it anyway. Now follow me.

Phacia: Ramus and Ghaleon traveled inside of Tempest’s house.

Scene-Tempest’s house. There is a party and the guests are playing charades. In the crowd are Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Tony Tony Chopper, and Nico Robin from One Piece-

Ghaleon(points at the One Piece characters): What are they doing here?

Ramus: Eh, Escachick357 decided that the play would be more interesting if we invited some pirates to the party.

Ghaleon: But they aren’t even in LUNAR.

Ramus: Look, ignore the pirates and keep watching.

-Tempest imitates an old man-

Fresca: It’s your uncle Ghaleon!

Tempest: Right!

-guests laugh-

Sanji: He’s so cruel.

Nami: I’m glad he’s not here.

Ghaleon(looks at director): You gave them lines to say in this story?

Escachick357: Yeah, I did.

Ghaleon: But…

Escachick357: Ghaleon…just shut up and continue with the play. I’ll worry about the characters in my play and the script.

Ghaleon: Yes, ma’am…(looks back at Tempest)

Tempest: I have something to say to you all...Merry Christmas, to those who are and aren’t here.

Fresca: Like Evil Uncle Ghaleon. Cheers!

Guests: Cheers!

Ramus: See? They insult you for your cruelty.

Ghaleon: So?

Ramus: Let’s go to the next place.

Phacia: Ramus and Ghaleon flew to Alex’s house.

Scene-Alex’s house. Luna is cooking stew for supper while Jessica and Nash talk to their grandparents-

Jessica: I’m glad you came here, Grandma and Grandpa.

Myght: And we’re happy to see little tomboy Jessica, high-and-mighty Nash, and shy-and-sweet Mia.

Lemia: I’m just sorry that we don’t have any presents for you all.

Nash: It’s okay. We’re happy that you’re here. I’m sure that when Father and Mia get back from church, they’ll be happy, too.

Luna: That’s right. Your gift was coming here for Christmas.

Phacia: They suddenly heard someone come into their house.

Alex(calling): We’re home!

-Alex walks into the kitchen with Mia on his shoulders-

Lemia: Let me take Mia, Alex. (takes Mia into the living room)

Luna: How was church?

Alex: She has earned the nickname “Mini Mia”. She claims that all the kids are staring at her because she is crippled and her cold seems to have gotten worse. The worst part is that I was fired so I can’t afford to give her a doctor.

Mia(calling): It’s all right, Father. I’ll be fine. (begins coughing)

Luna: Come now, the stew is finished so it’s time for supper.

-Mia walks to the table by her crutch, Nash, Jessica, Myght, and Lemia follow her-

Ghaleon(tears form in his eyes): Spirit, will Mini Mia die?

Ramus: It’s not for me to say.

Ghaleon: Please don’t let her die.

-A soft beeping sound goes off-

Ramus: Okay, my time is up and I gotta get both of us home.

Ghaleon(looks at his watch): Really? We’ve only been gone 10 minutes.

Ramus: Yeah, but the Iron Chef is on in 5 minutes and I really hate to miss the show. Now, let’s go home.

Phacia: Ramus and Ghaleon flew back to Ghaleon’s house…

Scene-Ghaleon’s room-

Ramus: There’s one more spirit left, Ghaleon…Good-bye.

Phacia: Ramus left, leaving Ghaleon in his room wondering if Mini Mia would die. But he decided to try and take his mind off it. He turned on the TV and began to watch one of those Christmas specials where the characters look like ventriloquist dummies (A/N: God I hate those specials), when the 3rd and final spirit came to visit…

-Royce comes on TV-

Ghaleon: Okay. Memo to self: No more Christmas specials.(turns off the TV)

-the TV turns back on and Royce walks out of the TV-

Ghaleon: Holy shit! It’s the girl from The Ring. I swear I haven’t watched the video. Please don’t kill me. I won’t tell anyone if you spare my life!

Royce: Ghaleon, I am the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. I am here to show you how your future will be if you don’t change your ways.

Ghaleon: Wait, I thought you weren’t supposed to talk.

Royce(shrugs): I requested to Escachick357 to let me speak in this play a little more than I was supposed to and she changed the script for me.

Ghaleon(looks at director…again): I have a request.

Escachick357: Oh, God. What is it?

Ghaleon: Can we lose the One Piece characters?

Escachick357: Hmmm…no. The pirates stay. Now continue.

Phacia: Royce and Ghaleon went to the future where Ghaleon saw something very shocking.

Scene-Future. Ghaleon’s house. People are bidding on his items-

Mel(holds up a nightgown): I’ll start the bid at 1 cent.

Tempest: Two cents.

Mel: Any other bids?

-no one answers-

Laike: Going once...Going twice…sold for two cents!

Ghaleon: WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?!? STOP THIS AT ONCE!!!

-no one listens-

Royce: Ghaleon, you dumbass, nobody can see or hear you. Now then, let’s go to another place…

-Royce and Ghaleon go to a cemetery and see Alex, Luna, Nash, Jessica, Myght, and Lemia crying by a grave. Jessica and Nash look pale and thin-

Ghaleon: What the hell is the matter with the kids? And where’s Mini Mia?

Alex(sobbing): Mia. My little girl.

-Alex lays a crutch by a grave-

Royce: Because of your cruelty, Alex barely had enough food to feed Nash and Jessica and no money to get Mia a doctor. The poor child lost her life because of you!

Ghaleon: No…

Royce: Now, there’s one more place to go to…

-Royce and Ghaleon go to one last grave-

Ghaleon: Whose grave is this?

Royce: Read it and find out.

Ghaleon(leans forward to the headstone): “Here lies Ghaleon. Thank God he’s gone”…What the hell?!?

Royce: No one knew a kind word to say about you. Now accept your fate… (shoves Ghaleon into his grave, which is empty)

Ghaleon: No! Please! I won’t be cruel anymore! Give me another chance! Please!

Scene-Present. Ghaleon’s room. 7am-

Phacia: Ghaleon woke up at 7am on Christmas and realized that he was given a second chance.

Ghaleon(jumps out of bed, runs to a window and calls to Lily): You there, boy!

Lily(looks up): I’m a girl.

Ghaleon: Sorry. What day is it?

Lily: Christmas day.

Ghaleon: Excellent. Is the 26 pound turkey in the butcher’s shop still there?

Lily: Yeah.

Ghaleon: I’ll give you 3,000 silver to buy it for me.

-throws 3,000 silver in Lily’s hands-

Lily: Okay!(runs, gets the turkey, and brings it to him)

Ghaleon: Thank you, Iris.

Lily: My name’s Lily.

Ghaleon(holds up his script): No, it says right here “Iris”.

Lily: I know my own name.

Ghaleon: Okay fine, Lily. I must be off now.

-Ghaleon gets into a carriage-

Lily: Merry Christmas, Ghaleon!

-Ghaleon gave 10,000 silver to the orphans, and stops by Tempest’s house-

-Ghaleon knocks at his door-

Tempest(answers the door): Uncle!

Ghaleon: Merry Christmas, Tempest!

Fresca(comes to the door): Hello, Ghaleon.

Ghaleon: How are you, Fresca?

Tempest: Uncle, would you come for Christmas dinner?

Ghaleon: Sure. See you at 6. Gotta go. Merry Christmas.

-drives away in his carriage-

Fresca(turns to Tempest): Who was that man and what did he do to your uncle?

Phacia: Ghaleon stopped by the toy store and bought a shit load of toys and drove by Alex’s house.

Scene-Alex’s house-

-Ghaleon knocks on Alex’s door-

Alex(answers the door): Ghaleon!

Ghaleon: May I come in?

Alex: Please do.

-Ghaleon goes inside-

Alex: You know my wife, Luna, my parents, and my children, Jessica, Nash, and Mia.

Ghaleon: Also nicknamed “Mini Mia”, right?

-Mia nods her head-

Ghaleon: I have gifts for your family.(gives the turkey to Luna and the toys to Jessica, Nash, and Mia)

Luna: Thank you.

Ghaleon: And I’m giving you your job back and paying you 3 times as much as I did before.

Alex: Sir…I don’t know what to say.

Ghaleon: How about “Thank you”?

Alex: Thank you.

Mia: God bless us, everyone.

Phacia: And so Ghaleon learned not to be greedy. And in the words of Mini Mia, God bless us, everyone.

-nothing happens-

Escachick357: Uhhh…we have 2 minutes left.

Phacia: Oh. Well, I’ve been practicing a song for Christmas.

Kyle: You can sing?

Phacia: Of course. May I sing my song?

Raya2: Why not?

-Phacia sings Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and is very good…until she sings the last line-

Phacia(sings in a VERY high pitched voice): Have yourself a merrrrryyyyy little Chrissstmassssss…

-glass shatters, everyone but Phacia screams and clutches their ears-

Luna: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Nash: Oh God, my ears!

Zoro: This is the worst pain ever!

Nall: Make it stop!

Luffy: Somebody, put it out of its misery!

Escachick357: Call 911!

Raya2: WHAT?!?

-everyone but Phacia runs to the hospital, clutching their ears and screaming their asses off-

Phacia(stops singing): Huh? Ooh! Play’s over. Merry Christmas.

The End.

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