RPGFF.net - T'was the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when far beyond time,

Not a creature was stirring, in old Nibelheim;

Tifa's stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that not Santa, but Cloud would be there;

Biggs and Wedge were nestled all snug in their beds,

Hungover - like anvils had dropped on their heads ;

And Barret reached out and gave Marlene a slap He said "Stop all that Wailin and Caroling Crap!"

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

They all sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

They looked up to Tifa's window to catch a quick flash,

Great Sighing arose when she pulled down the sash.

|Outside though Pure as the white driven snow | |Was Aerith sitting meekly in the wago below, | |When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,| | | |But Cloud Strife making love to her, Drunk on | |Cheap Beer! | | | |With a Leap from the window. Tifa, lively and | |quick, | |Said "I'll castrate that man, That cheap Cheating| |Prick!". | |With a War Cry like Xena, Bitch slapping, it came| | | |She Screamed and she shouted called Aerith some | |names; |

|"Now, you SLAPPER! Like, CANCER! now, PRANCING you VIXEN! | |On, the BONNET?! That's PUTRID! You're like CLINTON and | |NIXON! | |Now get here Cloud and I'll grab hold of your balls, | |And then you won't cheat on me, never, not at all!!" | | | |Fists flying like leaves in a wild hurricane fly, | |When they meet with an obstacle, Aerith- Bye Bye! | |She then turned on Cloud, the coward off he flew, | |Before Tifa had realized he'd had Yuffie too. |

Tifa shook her head and went into the house, Then without realizing she stood on a mouse, T'was the bugger's fault for not making a sound, If he'd squeaked some louder he'd be alive next time round. When Tifa returned her bed was still warm, She snuggled with the pillow until Christmas Dawn Then she said "Sephiroth - A Great pillow you make!" Outraged? It's only a Poem- Pete's sake!

As an Epilogue to this small and sordid tale There appeared little later a Poet from Wales. Whom Tifa asked if he would join in the fun. He replied "Nope, I've got a date with an Aeris01"

He sprang to his sleigh, and she says he Wolf Whistled,

To the Team of sheep pulling it. (I'll kill her with a pistol!).

But She heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"