** Part 7 **

Author’s Note: Part 7 freaks! So let’s keep it going, shall we? As always Square-Enix owns all FF characters. Don't you wish you did too?

“So Garnet…” began a curious Zidane, “When did you get your license?”

Garnet who was momentarily stopped at a stoplight turned towards her young savior and smiled. “Well, remember that time you let me drive the airship?”

“Yeah…the time we were being chases by the Black Waltz, that was some awesome driving!” grinned Zidane.

“(teehee) Thanks Zidane, well after I put you all to sleep with that medicine you gave me, I went over to the Department of Transportation and they said I could have it without taking the test, believing that after doing some fancy driving on the airship that it wasn’t necessary.”

“Lucky! I had to take a driving test four times before I got my license…”

“Now I see why Steiner has been uptight the last few days…”

While, the couple was distracted, the light ahead of them turned green signaling “go”, and someone behind them was not too pleased to see that they weren’t paying attention.

“Heyyyyyy you morons! Are ya blind! Get a move on! The light is greennnnn!!” screamed the unidentified shadow coming from behind the vehicle, which was followed by a loud roar of a motorcycle.

“How rude! I should give them a piece of my mind!” Garnet pouted as she was about to put the car into drive.

“Umm…Garnet let me handle this…its Halloween Night, I don’t want you to be injured…” Zidane said before stepping out of the car into moving traffic.

Garnet sighed, " ‘Injured?!' Then, what have I been feeling all evening?!”

“Excuse me kind sir, and extremely dangerous and armed assassins…” Zidane began in his typical voice of conformation. “The lady and I were having a delightful conversation, the least you could do is wait until we are finished and then proceed on your way…”

“Where the hell are you from? We live in a society where the lights guide us, when they are green we ‘go’ and when they are ‘red’ we stop…well most of us do anyways…”

“What? You let lights decide your fate…that’s pathetic,” Zidane laughed.

“Boys…destroy this pitiful thief and let us be on our way to find Tidus…”

“Umm…sir,” went Shadow, “after a short meeting between our little council here, we have decided to vote against your decision.”

“Wait a minute, who do you guys think you are the Senate or something? I am your master and…”

It happened once and was about to happen again, all the eyes surrounding Seymour turned red and blades of destruction were brought to his neck…

“More…tacos? …Umm, I’m broke...”

The assassins were still hungry so to crave their hunger they continuously slapped Seymour to a bloody pulp and rode off with his Harley.

”…Boy no wonder you guys were on sale…” he said before collapsing.

“Bye bye!” grinned Zidane as he stepped back into the convertible that Garnet was driving…

“So, do I dare even ask how it went?” asked Garnet who was now listening to her own theme in the CD player of the car.

“Not too bad really…I didn’t really do anything…oh well, let’s go…”

“Umm…Zidane…”

“What?”

“The light’s red again…and a train is going past…”

“Crap…oh well that reminds me of a song I heard from someone…”

”Lord, please don’t let him sing, anything but that…” Garnet said as she cranked up her theme louder.

”Train, train…”

***

“Vinnny! Stop the car, I think I’m gonna be sick…” Eiko complained as she was starting to turn a slime green in the cheeks.

“Fine, fine, let’s stop at this Casino…I need to gamble some of my spare change…” Vincent decided as he screeched the Batmobile to a halt.

“Urp…thank you god thank you god…” Eiko prayed as she fell out of the Batmobile upon opening it.

“Poor kid…this is going to dampen my image…oh well, time to gamble 10 gil…”

Vincent took a few steps towards the Casino and then noticed two familiar faces off in the distance…

“SEPHIROTH!!!”

“Yep, that’s my name, don’t wear it out!!!”

“…and Aeris…”

“Hey! How come I don’t get my name in caps and with exclamation points…”

“’Cause to most people you aren’t evil…well except to all Tifa fans…oops…” Sephiroth chuckled before realizing his grave error.

“Sephiroth, it’s time to show you a few tricks I learned in the Lifestream…” Aeris giggled madly as she summoned a tall dark creature of the planet.

“No…Not…Ultimate Weapon!!!”

”GRAND HYPER-ACTIVE-MULTI-STINGING SLAPFEST!” called out U.W. as it glowed a dark purple.

**SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!**

Sephy, nearly wasted and on the cement, looked up at the young Ancient holding a white flag “...Aeris...about that kiss…”

“You owe me quite a few kisses boy…”

“Sheesh, when I was God, I had no fear of this, oh lord help me…”

Well Sephiroth must have kissed Aeris a thousand times before she was satisfied, but for the sake of this fic, we’re say time stopped for this moment. It was pure perfection and the more Sephiroth kissed the beautiful young girl, the more he enjoyed it…sorta. Enter your vivid romantic imagination here. ^_^

Back at the par-ty...

“Again!" *Whoosh* "AGAIN!" *Whoosh* ” continued Yuna as she commanded Tidus to whirl the summoner staff.

“Yuna…I hope we plan on doing more tonight then allowing me to whirl your staff…” Tidus groaned as he felt his arm go limp.

“Well…if it wasn’t so cloudy and dreary tonight, I’d say, we could go outside and…you know…” Yuna smiled seductively as she fluttered her eyebrows.

“Hmm…you’ve got me intrigued…but umm…”

Just as Tidus was having second thoughts, a loud *BOOOOOOM!* was heard outside, amazingly the riot surrounding Tifa stopped and everyone went outside to see what had happened.

“Kimahri! I told you that you should have let me drive! Even though I’m not licensed, I could have done way better than you! Cat’s can’t freakin’ drive!”

“Kimahri crashed on purpose, it Ronso’s way of parking…”

“You come from a strange culture Kimahri…”

“Kimahri! Rikku! You okay?” Wakka asked rushing up to the busted semi.

“Ehh…I think so, I don’t think anything’s broken…well except the usual…” Rikku replied holding her right arm.

“Kimahri! I’m gonna tell Kelk Ronso about this!” Yuna whined as she took out a sphere phone and began dialing the Kelk’s number.

“NO Yuna no do that…Kimahri lose license for that…or worse…village laugh at me…”

“Okay, Mr. Kitty, we’ll let you off easy this time,” Tidus said giving in to the young warrior, “but next time, no running through stop signs, red means stop, not bull-charge, use turn signals and don’t forget, brakes DO exist…”

“Better yet Kimahri, why don’t you just re-read the whole driving manual…” Lulu suggested.

“Er…what driving manual?” Kimarhi asked pulling out what appeared to be a porno mag...

***

“Garnet…not to intrude or anything but I’m hungry!” pouted Zidane as he covered his stomach in agony.

“Well for once Zidane, I’d have to agree with you, we haven’t had anything to eat in this fic! How does the author expect us to do our stuff on an empty stomach?” snorted Garnet.

Zidane put his hand in a nearby bag and pulled out a king-size Snickers bar.

“Where did you get that?!” Garnet said with wide-eyes drooling with desire.

“The person who had this car must have bought candy sometime ago, well we’d better not disappoint him…” grinned Zidane as he stuffed two king-size Snicker bars into his mouth.

Garnet, having a guilty conscience for all the candy the owner had bought, slapped Zidane and took the two bars out of his mouth at the same time. “We can’t eat this candy, they was probably going to hand it out to trick-or-treaters tonight!”

“Well, aren’t we the trick-or-treaters?” protested Zidane who attempted to resume eating the king-size Snickers.

Garnet pulled it back out of his mouth and threw it into the street. “The only right thing to do is to give this candy to the trick-or-treaters…"

Zidane sighed and looked up at his princess. “Of course, you’re right Garnet, I’m sorry for being so selfish…”

The princess smiled as she gave Zidane a small peck on the cheek. “You’re feel better about it later on Zidane…”

”I hope so, my stomach sure won’t like it though…”

Garnet whose eyes had caught something upsetting in the road slowed the car to a crawl and urged Zidane to look to their left.

“Looks like an accident, let’s see if we can be of any help,” Garnet suggested.

“What in the…it’s a cat…and a sugar-active teenager…reminds me of Eiko…”

”Zidane!”

Zidane took a second look and grinned. “She’s got breasts too… Some of the most detailed one's I think I've ever seen, you'd think they were real or something!”

*Slap!*

“Err, but not as big as yours, of course…”

Garnet took out her silver racket and gave Zidane a huge KAPOW!

“OW!! Aw forget it! You women are so hard to please these days!”

***

“So what do we do now that we have Seymour’s bike Seifer?” asked Amarant.

“What else, we have a little fun!” replied the gunblade specialist.

“Foos, look out!” Barret shouted as Seifer ran over a conveniently placed king-size Snickers bar.

“Shiiiiiiiitttttttttt!” roared Seifer as he and the gang spun outta control into a video game shop. Lucky for them, the place had closed up for the night and their wasn’t a security system to cause chaos.

“Ehhhh, everyone okay? Not like I care…” Amarant asked into the darkness.

“I need light man…” Seifer said holding his head. “I’m blind!”

“Yes! Now I can finally say I didn’t do it!” laughed Laguna.

Meanwhile, the barking of a familiar dog was heard in the primacies.

“What is it Interceptor?” Shadow asked his faithful canine as he took a cd case from the dog’s mouth… “Final Fantasy 7…?”

“Who’s the dude with the sword…” Amarant asked.

“Some dude who’s been using too much hair gel…if I didn’t know better I’d say he had a gunblade…damn that’s a long ass one…” Seifer shockingly said.

“Damn, check out the graphics…I’m so ashamed…” Shadow pouted.

“You lived in a dark-age my friend…” Laguna said.

***

“Ugh…someone help me…” plead a nearly unconscious Seymour who was still in the middle of the street where he had lost his Harley. “I’ve fallen…and I can’t get up!”

Noting but the sound of an alley cat was heard in the air.

“This sucks…”

***

“Eiko, you can’t enter the Casino, you’re not old enough, for some strange reason they have laws prohibiting people under the age of 21 to enter this establishment.” Vincent revealed to the young summoner who was pouting outside.

“That’s so like…unfair…” Eiko pouted before crossing her arms over her chest.

“Here’s ten bucks I stole from Sephiroth while he was kissing Aeris, go have some fun in the nearby arcade…”

“Yay! Mortal Kombat here I come!” giggled an excited Eiko who dashed off out of sight.

“Wait! …They have laws against that too…oh well…now time for an exciting game of roulette, knowing my luck, Cloud’s probably already warmed up the spinner for me…”

Author’s Note: What more can I say? If you've played FFX, you will recall when Tidus says in referring to the snowmobile "...Better than Kimarhi does!" and now we get the truth behind his driving skills . Lots of scenes going on, so are you keeping up alright? . Stay tuned when as Part 8 comes around, we'll get a hint at what's happening with our "Villans". Rate and Review for me please!

** Part 8 **

Author’s Note: Part 8 arrives at last! Actually I’ve had this sitting on my hard drive for a long, long time and just am now getting it up. I hope it was worth the wait for those of you who’ve been waiting oh so patiently… Finally we can have evil in the picture…

The moon was now at it’s peak dubbing itself as officially midnight in our little Halloween world. Little does our multiple friends and foes know is that something drastic and evil is about to take place.

Back at Ultimecia’s Castle…

“I think I understand your pain…world domination has always been my goal…and I was so damn close to it, but those accursed Returners…” snarled Kefka.

“Now, now, Kefka…while I never planned on destroying the world, I did have evil desires for powers and I too was stripped of that by my pathetic brother.” Kuja revealed.

“Wahehehee! I have a brilliant idea Kuja…” Kefka giggled madly as he began to glow a bright red from head to toe.

“What? Go out for Chinese?” Kuja assumed, suddenly having a craving for sweet and sour chicken, and it looked like he needed it too…

“No! Let’s both combine our powers and get revenge on those blasted fools once and for all…”

“Hmm, sounds brilliant indeed, speaking of brilliant, how did you manage to get Ulti’s place?”

“Ehh, she said she would be out of town for a few days…something about visiting her relative in Honolulu…”

“Must be nice this time of year…”

“Oh yeah, beautiful weather…DON’T TEMPT ME, we have more important matters at hand!”

“Tell you what, we destroy our allies, and we’ll both go to Hawaii for Christmas…”

“Deal!”

Finally coming to a decision, it was only a matter of time before the goofballs…I mean, evil titans began to assault the world with their incarnations of power…

“Sephiroth! Where did you learn to kiss like that?” Aeris asked as her eyes literally lit up the night. Never in her entire life had she experienced kisses so passionate and magic as the ones that Sephiroth had just planted on her mere seconds ago.

“My mother Jenova taught me, why?” replied the silver-haired wonderer.

“Err…nothing, just curious…” Aeris groaned as she quickly regretted even asking the question in the first place.

“You didn’t think such an incarnation of evil knew how to kiss so well did you…” Sephiroth grinned.

“It would seem that their is still hope for evil yet in this world…but we need to find Cloud…” Aeris advised.

“My ungodly-like powers indicate he’s at a party somewhere drunk…” Sephiroth disclosed, he hair whirling around like a radar.

“Then what are we waiting for! Let’s go get him and go home…” Aeris stipulated.

“It won’t be that easy I’m afraid…besides, my good-like self has now expired…” Sephiroth grinned as a familiar grin came over him…

“Huh?” Aeris marveled as she saw Sephiroth pull out his sharpened Masamune, the wind began to fill his cape whipping into the night.

“Cloud…I’m taking you down! Wahahahaa!” roared Sephiroth as he flew into the night at mach speeds.

“What the hell…did I hit him too hard last time, I think I scrambled his memory back to his old self…oh planet what have I done…” Aeris sighed as she sprinted after the one-winged angel.

“Well no one was hurt, why all the long faces? Let’s hit that PAAH-TAAY!" Selphie said to the crowd as they walked back inside and resumed the night like nothing had happened. Sabin resumed his control as the DJ and everyone was up, dancing, having a good time. A new batch of punch was even put in since the old punch seemed to have lost its flavor somehow…

Meanwhile, Irvy who had been behind the girl in the bunny costume bowed his head into apology. “I’m sorry Selfie, I know now you really are the only one for me, forgive me?”

“Alright Irvy!” she smiled as she leaned in to kiss him while dancing to a slow song.

On the other side of the room, another familiar couple was slow dancing.

“Aww, Lulu, that’s pretty sweet, ya?” asked Wakka to the sorceress.

“Yeah, but if you think that I’m letting you get your hairy lips near mine, you are asking for trouble Wakka…” the black mage replied in her typical stern voice.

“Chill Lulu, let yourself go, it’s relaxing!” Rikku said as she grabbed a cup of punch from the punch bowl, soon after she fell flat on her face.

“Did someone spike the punch again?” Edgar commented.

A figure raised his hand. “It was me…how can you kids drink this stuff…it was missing something…” Auron smiled as he shook up his canteen full of alcohol. (How could I even resist?)

“Kimahri want a sip…” inquired a nearby Ronso.

“Go drink some milk kitty…” Auron responded, holding back his canteen so Kimarhi couldn’t reach it.

On yet another side of the room…

“Yuna…look at that couple…why can’t we be like them…” whined Tidus, who was clearly becoming unhappy about the situation with him and Yuna, seeing as he hadn’t even gotten a kiss from the summoner on this particular night.

”What? Argue all the time over the littlest things and then kiss and make up?” Yuna mocked.

“Well…yeah… it’s so romantic…” Tidus sighed.

“Tidus…come here…” Yuna giggled as she kissed him deeply.

“PG, keep it PG Yuna…” Tidus thought as he kissed the ‘blitzball player’ in disguise.

“Someone…anyone…say something! This silent air is making me go crazy!” Seymour Guado bellowed into the open night. He was still flat on his back and hadn’t heard a single noise in the last half hour. However, soon to be realized, that quickly changed…

“GRRRRRRRRRR….” went a loud figure that was standing over Seymour.

“EKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!” screamed Seymour in the highest-pitched girly voice imaginable, as with renewed strength he took off down the street.

Omega Weapon was not far behind.

“Hmm they all went inside that place, I think we should follow, this might get interesting…” Zidane observed as he began to walk towards the entrance of the party lounge.

”We may as well, we haven’t had any fun tonight! All we’ve been doing is…” Garnet started but was quickly interrupted by her angel of death.

“The readers know Garnet, don’t allow them to go back and read it again for our sake!”

“Ehh…right my angel of death…”

“PUNCH!” was what came out of Zidane’s mouth when he first entered the building. Moments later he was on the floor next to Rikku.

“Zidane, get off that young-hyperactive teenager this instant!” Garnet hissed as she quickly became jealous of Zidane even being next to a younger lady than himself.

“Grughah gruuuggguuu…” replied Zidane, in typical drunken fashion.

“DANCE?” came a voice from behind Garnet. What has approached her was none other than the biggest cat she had ever seen!

“What?” Garnet replied to the beast-like being. She was quickly taken aback by his bulky size in statue.

“Pretty girl dance with Kimahri?” came the cat-like being.

Garnet couldn’t resist having someone ask her, as Zidane had never gone to such measures. “OOOooo! Such a gentleman! Yes I would be honored!” she replied as she took the hand of the Ronso.

“This is getting seriously messed up…” Terra sighed as she talked Celes into playing a new game, this time tic-tac-toe.

“I know…hey so what happened to Tifa?” Celes asked upon drawing an “X”.

“Last I heard she was taken to the hospital, the same one Squall and Rinoa went too…”

“Oh boy…Squall watch out, control yourself,” giggled Celes. “TIC TAC…errr!”

“Hey! You have to draw three X’s in a row to win!” Terra bawled.

“Damn, I was beginning to wonder why this game was so easy…” Celes blushed, as they started a new game.

***

Meanwhile, in Room number 69 of the Good-Guys-Recover-Here-Usually Hospital. Squall was enjoying himself on a nice comfy bed pushing buttons.

“Look Rinoa, when I push this button the bed goes up, and when I push this button, the bed goes down! It’s ingenious! We need to get Doctor Kadowaki to install some of these in the Garden!” the commander counseled.

Rinoa, nearly speechless with the man’s IQ level, retreated to a nearby room only to find... “Zell! How did you get in here!”

“Dude!” Zell began, “I was checking to see what room number Squall’s was, and then I came upon this hot girl down in Room 3. She’s got blimps the size of…”

“Skip that part! How did you end up in that bed…” Rinoa yelled in fright.

“She kicked my ass…” Zell calmly and quietly revealed to her.

“Oohh…” Rinoa squinted as she truly saw the numerous brusies all over the spiky-haired blonde’s body…

“Funny thing was…she looked just like you…that’s what made me mistaken her in the first place, then I said to myself, Rinoa doesn’t wear a see-through top...” Zell divulged.

“What!” screamed Rinoa, unable to believe that this girl she was talking about could even be real.

”Yeah…boy her punch packs a wallop…did I mention her blimps? And I’m not talking Blimpies either!”

“Yes Zell...well I need to go teach this little hussy a lesson for imitating me!”

“Wait! I didn’t tell you…” but Zell was too late as Rinoa had left his room. “Her name was Tifa…”

Squall roared in the next room while watching the stock report on the black and white tv… “I’m a dumbass! More Ovaltine please!”

***

“Finish him Sonya! Death Kiss!” Eiko roared at the arcade console. She was just now lining up for a fatality, while around her, a huge crowd had gathering to watch her pummel her opponents one after another.

“She’s breaking all the records this arcade has ever obtained on this game!” mentioned one of the spectators.

“Yeah I know, for such a young women, she’s got spunk!” followed another viewer of the game.

“Just don’t taste her cooking, and, oh yeah, whatever you do, don’t mention the word ‘Zidane’ in front of her, I’ve seen her get as angry as a Cerberus.”

Suddenly, the power went out mysteriously and beneath the darkness laid a crying girl.

“Damn it! What a time for the power to go out, I was just warning up!” whined Eiko.

“Eiko…” came a voice from within the darkness. “It is time, come…”

“ *sigh* Okay, Vinny, I suppose I’ve had enough, but did you have to go to the extreme to get me to quit?”

“With all those rumors flying about you, I just couldn’t take any chances…”

“Did Zidane tell you! Oohh, I’m gonna get him for this…”

“Come…to the Batmobile…”

“’Kay! Teehee!”

***

“Dudes, we need to get out of this place and go find Seymour…I know it’s probably the stupidest idea ever, but…well I feel stupid today…” Seifer confessed as he revealed his idea.

“You being stupid? That’s a good one…” chuckled Shadow.

“No, man…I’m serious…” Seifer repeated.

“Guys, I think I found a way out!” piped up Laguna as he pointed to a glowing sign above a mysterious door.

“Hmm…” Seifer said as he read the sigh. “EXIT….okay, I take back what I said earlier…”

“What’s an EXIT?” asked a curious Laguna.

“Dude, you are a disgrace to rpger’s everywhere…” Seifer rolled his eyes mentioning.

“Ow…my leg’s cramped…” Laguna moaned as he held one of his tense legs.

“…Yet, their's no piano lady in site…” Shadow sighed…

“Thank the author for that…” sighed Amarant as he made his way outside first.

Just seconds later coming from up the street…

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

“The hell was that?” asked Shadow.

“Looks like…someone screaming the fifth letter of the alphabet! Has a nice ring to it too…” Laguna chuckled.

“Dudes, it’s Seymour, what the hell is he doing…” Seifer laughed as he watched the maester run like the wind...errr yeah…

“I think I see the reason…does a big, scary, deadly, practically impossible to beat monster who appears in almost every RPG game make you wanna just be somewhere else just about now…” Shadow said pointing to a tall creature that had momentarily stop to look at the group while licking its lips. Amarant suggested upon being the first to scat right after Seymour down the street.

“ROARRRR!” followed the ever-present Omega Weapon.

“Seymour! You a slow-ass mofo…” Barret joked as he raced past the wanna-be god.

”Stupid Tacos! I thought they said it would give me more gas!” Seymour pouted upon running as fast as he could.

Suddenly a lawn mower raced by.

“Who’s the dork now!” laughed Laguna as he raced pasted everyone destroying anything that he ran over.

“This…is…so…revolting…” Seymour wheezed as he chased after his comrades.

---

Author’s Note: Ah yes… So Seymour really doesn’t move a whole lot so this’ll teach him to work out more! Now what’ll happen when Rinoa meets Tifa? Will she suffer the same fate? Will Squall become a dumbass forever? And what does Sephiroth have in store for Cloud? Stay tuned for another exciting chapter of…okay, I really don’t want to sound like a tv show right now . Just read the next chapter when I get to it!